You may have heard lots on TV and in magazine articles lately about Oxytocin, the love chemical in the brain. Dr. Oz on Oprah, Dr. John Gray in his latest book on relationship between Mars and Venus, The Doctors on TV, are all mentioning it.
This feel-good chemical, generated in both the brain and the heart, induces empathy, bonding and intimacy. Women generate lots of Oxytocin. Since, like all other mental functions in the female it is associated with verbal activities, it gives rise in women to what scientists are now calling the ‘Tend and befriend’ instinct. Women generate Oxytocin in conversations, when experiencing closeness to their children and even when receiving a hug from their partner.
The male brain and heart also generate Oxytocin, although in lower levels than in the female. It is important to note that Oxytocin levels spike in both men and women at the time of sexual activities, particularly orgasm. Not only does it make us feel close and loving, it also releases stress in the body and the brain.
The old idea is true that women need intimacy (Oxytocin generated in their brains and bodies) in order to want to have sex, while men need sex in order to feel intimacy.
Hint: Men should give hugs and affection, listen for at least a few minutes each day to their partners and they will help her generate the feelings of intimacy and desire for sex. Women should understand that men need sex in order to generate all the feelings we take for granted.
Relationships are in need of constant work and commitment, sometimes a little outside help can go a long way.
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